I woke at 3:30 this morning worrying about Memaw. I left her apt. yesterday at around 6:00 pm. She was sitting up in bed and had eaten some of her dinner. She was refusing to feed herself and I had to coax her with every bite. She said "No" and "I'm just not hungry". I said "I don't care if you are hungry or not you are going to eat this bite!". I also told her to quit telling me no! After she had eaten some of her grilled cheese and part of her soup I laid some Frito's on the towel across her body. She ate everyone I put there (without complaint). I got an ice cream bar and put it in her hands...she ate that without complaining too!
Gary arrived while she was eating. He stayed until after 8:00. She refused to change into her night clothes and wouldn't go to the bathroom before he left. (which is why I woke up at 3:30, I started worrying that maybe it really wasn't the anxiety and she was seriously ill)
Well...it was the anxiety. Gary went over to her apartment early this morning. She was mad and complaining. It was obvious that she had gotten out of bed during the night and taken care of her needs. Believe it or not we are happy she is mad and complaining. It shows she has some fight left in her! That is so much better than laying around and hardly communicating with anyone. It also helped to relay my fears that she was really ill and did need to go to the emergency room. My greatest fear is that we will not recognize when she really needs to go. If you listened to her she would go at least 3 times a week!
I am learning as we travel through this journey that you are never prepared. You dig deep and draw from the life skills that your parents equipped you with when you were young. Of course, it doesn't hurt that you realize this could be you some day and how would you want to be treated! It also helps to remember the person she was before the dementia and anxiety controlled her life. She was a very sweet, caring, christian woman that loved her family.
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